Boss: Congratulations! I’m promoting you to manage our Montreal office!
The young man (disappointed): But sir! There’s nothing up there but bar girls and hockey players.
Boss (now insulted): I’ll have you know that MY MOTHER is from Montreal!
The young man (thinking fast): No kidding? What hockey team did she play on?
Two boys go camping
Two boys go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they’ve forgotten a bottle opener.
The first boy turns to the second and says, “You’ve gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer.”
“No way,” says the second. “By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food.”
“I promise I won’t do It,” says the Newfie. “Just hurry!”
Nine full days pass and there’s still no sign of the second boy. Exasperated and starving, the first Newfie digs into the sandwiches.
Suddenly, the second boy pops out from behind a rock and yells, “I knew it! I’m not freaking going!”