Jasmine
A man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.
When the bartender serves it up, he takes it out to the bench in front of the bar to drink it.
While he is enjoying his drink, a nun walks by and glares at him sourly. “How can you pollute your soul with the Devil’s drink like that?” she asks.
The man shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not the Devil, it’s just whiskey.”
“But it’s sinful and wicked!”
“So how do you know it’s so bad?” Have you ever tasted whiskey?”
“Of course not! My sisters and mother superior told me how evil drink is.”
“But how do they know? Have they ever had a drink?”
So they back and forth like this for a while, before at last, the nun relents. “Well, I guess if I were to try a sip of whiskey, I would better understand how it corrupts the soul. But it wouldn’t do for any of my sisters to come by here and see me drinking. Could you order me one in a teacup?”
The man agrees this is fair and walks inside to the barman.
“Two whiskeys, but put one in a teacup, please.”
The bartender slams his hand down on the bar and shouts, “Is that damn nun here again!?”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
A guy walks into a bar and sees 2 steaks hanging from the ceiling
A guy walks into a bar and sees two steaks hanging from the ceiling.
He sits down, orders a beer, and asks the bartender, “What’s the deal with the steaks?”
“It’s a competition. If you can jump up and slap both steaks at the same time, one with each hand, you win the bar. If you try and fail, you pay for everyone’s drinks for the rest of the night.”
The man sits down and thinks about it, and a few minutes later the bartender asks him if he would like to try.
“Nah, the steaks are too high.”
Another man heard the offer. He’d been having money troubles all his life but had slowly begun turning his life around.
He had saved money and paid off most of his debts. It had been a struggle though, and he wasn’t sure he could keep doing it much longer.
He thought if he could just win this bet, well, everything would be fine.
Of course, if he lost the bet, paying everyone’s bar tabs would be enough to financially ruin him.
“What the heck,” he thought.
He had played basketball in high school and considered himself to still be in good shape.
He crouched down and jumped as high as he could with all his might.
Her right hand stretched and stretched, and just with the barest of touches, his middle finger grazed the hanging meat.
In the same movement, his left hand turned to the steak. His reach came ever so close to the steak but alas no contact was made.
As the realization flooded over him, he crumpled to the ground and cried.
“How could I let one missed steak ruin my life?”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!