A Man Being Mugged By Two Thugs.

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight.

Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.

Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug asked, “Why did you put up such a fight?”

To which the man promptly replied, “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe.”

Two lazy-bones are fast asleep.

A thief comes in, pulls the blanket from the bed, and makes off with it.

One of them is aware of what happened and says to the other, ‘Get up! Go after the guy who stole our blanket!’

The other responds, ‘Forget it. When he comes back to take the mattress, let’s grab him then.’

Stanley is looking for a new desk for his office

and he spots one that looks perfect in an antique shop window.

He goes inside and asks the shopkeeper how much it is.

“That desk is going for $5000,” says the shopkeeper.

“$5000 for an old desk? That’s outrageous!” exclaims Stanley.

“Ah,” says the shopkeeper, “but this is a magic desk.” He turns to the desk and asks, “Desk, how much money do I have in my pocket?”

The desk taps one of its legs on the floor four times. The shopkeeper turns out his pocket and, sure enough, there are four dollar coins there.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool,” says Stan. “Alright, desk, how much money does my wife have in her bank account?”

At this, the desk goes wild, manically banging all four of its legs up and down repeatedly for over five minutes non-stop.

“Darn, where did she get all THAT from?” wonders Stanley.

The desk’s legs slide apart and its drawers drop down.