Lily
A man was very proud of his guard dog,
he would leave it to roam free in the garden to sow the world his house was guarded.
One day a woman knocked at his door. “Is that your big dog outside?”
Wondering how she had got past him he said: “Yes why?”
She said “I’m sorry but my dog just k*lled him!”
“What?” Roared the man “What kind of dog have you got?”
“A Peke” Replied the woman.
“A Peke? How could that little thing k*ll my big fine guard dog?”
“I think it got stuck in his throat!” replied the woman.
A hound dog lays in the yard and an old man in overalls sits on the porch.
“Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?” a jogger asks. The old man looks over his newspaper and replies, “Nope.”
As soon as the jogger enters the yard, the dog begins to snarl and growl, and then attacks the jogger’s legs. As the jogger flails around in the yard, he yells, “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!”
The old man mutters, “Ain’t my dog!”
A young man introduces his fiancee to his parents.
While they were having dinner the girl gently farts. Annoyed by the funny smell the father in law yells:
– Rocky!!
The girl is relieved that the future in-law blamed the dog from under her chair but after a few minutes she lets one more rip.
The boy’s father is getting nervous:
– Rocky!! be careful now!!
Worried no more the girl fires another one.
Feeling exasperated, the boy’s father yells:
– Rocky! Get out of there fast! She’s gonna sh*t on you!