Lily
A prominent lawyer calls a plumber to fix a leak in his shower.
After about 25 minutes the plumber hands him a bill for $200.00.
The lawyer, enraged, says:
“I’m a famous trial lawyer, and even I don’t make that kind of money for 25 minutes work!”
“Neither did I when I was a lawyer”, says the plumber.
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car,
and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden, an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took off the driver’s side door with him standing right there.
“NOOO!” he screamed.
Because he knew that no matter how much a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same.
Finally, a policeman came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling.
“MY BMW’S DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!” he exclaimed.
“You’re a lawyer aren’t you?” asked the policeman.
“Yes, I am. But what does this have to do with my car?” the lawyer asked.
“HA!” the policeman replied. “You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about are your possessions. I bet you didn’t even notice that your left arm is missing did you?” the cop said.
The lawyer looked down at his side and exclaimed: “MY ROLEX!!”
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.
The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one of you digs a hole, and then the other guy immediately fills it back up again.”
One of the city workers explained, “The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today.”