Bean
A man goes into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face.
“What did you do that for?” the man asks, rubbing his aching cheek.
“Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore, do you?” asked the pharmacist with a knowing smile.
“No, but my wife out in the car still does!”
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Revenge of the Melon Farmer
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well but was bothered by local kids sneaking into his watermelon field at night and eating his watermelons.
After some thought, he had the clever idea that he would definitely scare children. He made up a sign and posted it in the field.
The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, “Wa.r.ning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.”
The kids ran off, made up their own sign, and posted it next to the farmers.
When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: “Now there are two!”