Bean
A blonde began a job as a primary school counselor, and she was most eager to help.
One day during recess, she noticed this boy standing by himself at the edge of the playing field while the other children were playing soccer on the other side. The blonde approached him and asked him if he was okay.
The boy said he was.
A little while later, however, she noticed the boy was still in the same spot and still by himself.
Feeling a bit pity for him, she Approached again, Sandy said, “Would you like me to be your friend?”
The boy hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all by yourself?”
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“Because,” the little boy said, “I’m the fooking goalie!”
A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks for a dozen of lobster
A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks the waitress what was on special. She replied, “Today we have lobster tales for 50 cents.”
He said, “I’ll take a dozen!”
She told him since it was a special he would have to pay in advance which he did. Then she said, “Are you ready for your first tale?”
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He assured her he couldn’t wait. Then she began… “Once upon a time, there was this little lobster…..”
