It’s probably safe to say that almost everyone has been asked to babysit for a family member or friend at some point. Usually, it’s no big deal. But sometimes, things spiral out of control, and you suddenly find yourself treated like a full-time babysitter against your will. Saying “no” isn’t easy when it’s someone you love—but if you do, you risk being called “cold-hearted” or even “selfish.”
One of our readers, Rachel, shared her story about being stuck in this exact situation.
From: Rachel
Subject: My sister treats me like her “free babysitter”
Hi everyone,
My name is Rachel, and I’m 25 years old. My sister, Megan, is 31. She has two kids—a 5-year-old son and a 3-year-old daughter—and she’s raising them on her own. I don’t have children, and honestly, I don’t plan on having any in the near future.
But for some reason, Megan seems convinced that babysitting her kids should be the center of my life. She asks me constantly, as if it’s my responsibility to always step in.
For the past five years, she’s treated me like her personal “on-call nanny.” I understand being a single mom is hard, and yes, family should support each other, but I can’t always drop everything to rescue her. And to be clear—her version of babysitting isn’t just keeping an eye on the kids. It also includes cooking, feeding them, and even cleaning her kitchen afterwards.
Last month alone, I spent three weekends in a row looking after her children. By the third time, I was exhausted. Then, just last Saturday, Megan called me out of the blue. She didn’t ask—she informed me that she and the kids were already on their way to my house, and she’d “really appreciate it” if I could watch them while she got her nails done.
I was so furious that I snapped. I told her to turn the car around, that I wasn’t available, and that I actually had a life of my own. Before she could argue, I hung up the phone. Since then, Megan hasn’t spoken to me.
To make matters worse, our parents took her side. They keep calling me “selfish” for refusing to help out a “busy single mom.” So now, the entire family sees me as the bad guy, when all I wanted was for my sister to respect my time and my boundaries.
I adore my niece and nephews, and I truly don’t mind spending time with them. But I don’t want babysitting to become my permanent job.
How do I make my sister understand that I’m not her nanny and that my life doesn’t revolve around her kids?
Sincerely,
Rachel
