Lily
A guy in New York orders a taxi to go cross state.
The taxi pulls up, and he gets in, carrying a large box which he puts in the back. They set out driving, while the guy is looking at the box nervously every ten minutes or so. When they get to New Jersey, the man calls his wife. “Hi Honey. Yes, they did give me the jewellery. I’ll have it priced in Atlanta, it will probably be around 200 thousand. I’ll call you when I’m done.”
Half an hour later, he asks the driver to pull up at the nearest gas station so he can have lunch, the driver obliges so he can fill up on gas too. The man gets out, goes to the diner, has his lunch, gets back out, and sees that the driver has run out on him with the box.
He goes back calmly to the store and asks the clerk if he has a large empty box in the back.
The clerk asks, “What do you need it for?”
The guy replies, “Well, I have to be in Florida tomorrow.”
Father O’Flannagan dies due to old age.
Upon entering St. Peter’s gate, there is another man in front of him in the queue waiting to go into heaven.
St. Peter asks the man, “What is your name what did you accomplish during your life?”.
The man responds “My name is Joe Cohen, and I was a New York city taxi driver for 14 years”
“Very well,” says St. Peter, “Here is your silk robe and golden scepter, now you may walk in the streets of our Lord.”
St. Peter looks at the Father, and asks “What is your name and what did you accomplish?”
He responds, “I’m Father O’Flannagan, and have devoted the last 62 years to the Lord.”
“Very well,” says St. Peter, “Here is your cotton robe and wooden staff, you may enter.”
“Wait a minute,” says O’Flannagan, “You gave the taxi driver a silk robe and golden scepter, why did I only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?”
“Well,” St. Peter replied, “We work on a performance scale. While you preached, everyone slept, but when he drove taxis, everyone prayed!“