Lily
A passerby noticed a couple of city workers working along the city sidewalks.
The man was quite impressed with their hard work, but he couldn’t understand what they were doing.
Finally, he approached the workers and asked, “I appreciate how hard you’re both working, but what the heck are you doing? It seems that one of you digs a hole, and then the other guy immediately fills it back up again.”
One of the city workers explained, “The third guy who plants the trees is off sick today.”
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window.
A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.
The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he’s afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet.
He knows he can’t climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do.
Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy.
He can’t hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy’s chest.
About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him.
“So,” says the little guy, “are you feeling better now?”
A woman and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a flight. The lawyer asked if she would like to play a fun game.
The woman, tired, just wanted to take a nap, politely declined and rolled over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explained, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa.”
Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”
This catches the woman’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”
The woman doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. “Okay,” says the lawyer, “your turn”.
She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”
The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modern and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e- mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the woman, and hands her $500.00.
The woman says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the woman and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?”
Without a word, the woman reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.