Lily
A bricklayer at my husbands construction job routinely complained about the contents of his lunch box.
“I’m sick and tired of getting the same old thing!” he shouted one day. “Tonight I’ll set my wife straight.”
The next day the men could hardly wait until lunch time to hear what happened.
“You bet I told her off,” the bricklayer boasted. “I said, ‘No more of the same old stuff. Be creative!’ We had one heck of a fight, but I got my point across.”
He had indeed. In front of an admiring audience, he opened his lunch box to find that his wife had packed a coconut- and a hammer.
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”
The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say: “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defence:
“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb.”
“Well put,” the judge replied.
“Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one-year imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.