Lily
A boy asks his mother for breakfast.
She says, “Not until you feed the animals.”
The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, “I don’t feel like feeding you today.” So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he’s hungry.
His mother says, “I saw you kick the chicken, so you’re not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you’re not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you’re not getting any bacon.”
Just then the boy’s father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat.
The boy says, “Mom, should I tell him?”
A very drunk man
turns up at his house at 6 o’clock in the morning with his hair and clothes dishevelled. His long suffering wife, who has been waiting up all night, shouts at him furiously, “I hope you have a good reason for getting home blind drunk at this time of the morning!”
“Yes,” replied the man, “I’d like some breakfast!”
One summer evening,
a three year-old came in while his parents were setting the table for supper.
Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help.
His mother said, “No, but I appreciate your asking.”
The child responded, “Well, I appreciate your saying no.”
The elephantine memory
A man visits India and meets an old man at the Town Square who is renowned for his elephantine memory.
He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back.
“Eggs,” replies the old man.
The man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away.
Ten years later, he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, “How?”
The old man takes one look at his face and replies, “Scrambled.”