Jasmine
An old man from Texas asked a waiter to bring a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman.
The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, “This is from the gentleman seated over there,” indicating the sender.
She considered the wine coldly for a second without looking at the man and decided to send a reply note to the man.
The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.
The note read, “For me to accept this bottle, you must have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 i-n.ches in your pants.”
After reading the note, the Texan decided to compose one of his own in return.
He folded the note, handed it to the waiter, and instructed him to return this to the woman.
It read: “For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600, a Porsche Turbo, a Toyota Prius, and a Matrix in my garage, beautiful homes in Aspen, Colorado, and Miami, and a 10,000-acre ranch in Texas. There are over twenty million dollars in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three i-n.ches off. Just send the bottle back!!!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
Two Texas farmers are sitting in a bar
Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting in a bar enjoying a beer.
Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know what, I’m going to go to college!”
He then leaves the bar and makes his way over to the local college. He is met with the Dean of Administration, who is explaining to Jim what classes he is going to take.
“Okay, Jim. You are going to take 4 classes,” the Dean says. “English, Math, Science, and Logic.”
“Logic?” Jim asks. “What is that?”
“Here I will give you an example. Do you own a weed wacker?”
Jim proudly replied, “Yes, I do.”
“Well, if you own a weed wacker, then logically speaking you own a lawn,” the Dean said.
“Yes, yes I do have a lawn!”
“Well, if you have a lawn, then logically speaking you own a house.”
“Yes, yes I do have a house!”
“And if you have a house, then logically speaking you have a family.”
“Yes, yes I do have a family!”
“And if you have a family, then logically speaking you have a wife. And if you have a wife, then logically speaking you’re straight.”
“Yes, yes I do have a wife and I’m straight! Wow, I can’t believe you found out all of that just because you knew I had a weed wacker!” Jim exclaimed.
“Yes, that’s what logic is,” the Dean responded. Jim excitedly went back to the bar, awaited by Bob.
“Bob, I’m taking 4 classes in college. English, Math, Science, and Logic,” Jim told Bob.
“Logic?” Bob asks. “What is that?”
“Here, I’ll give you an example. Do you own a weed wacker?”
“No.”
“Then you’re gay.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!