Lily
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time.
Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, “Pull over!”
“No,” she shouts back, “a pair of socks!”
A truck was traveling through town.
When the driver stopped at a red light, a blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, “Mr. you’re losing part of your load”.
She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light.
She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver’s window, “Mr. you’re losing part of your load.”
The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver’s window, before she could say anything, the driver said,
“MA’AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I’M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK…….”
Mistake
A police officer stops a woman for speeding and asks her very nicely if she could see her license.
She replied in a huff.
“I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”
A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat
because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space.
Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.”
Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination.
The woman looked up to heaven and said, “Never mind, Lord; I found one on my own.”