Lily
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
“Sir, please calm down,” the manager replied. “It’s dead. It can’t bother you now.”
“The dead one doesn’t bother me.” Bob said. “It’s his pallbearers.”
Wife wanted newspaper
Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper.
He replies, “Newspaper? Are you really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead.”
The wife takes the iPad and uses it to hit a cockroach.
Her husband faints.
Before setting off on a business trip to Tulsa,
I called the hotel where I’d be staying to see if they had a gym.
The hotel receptionist’s sigh had a tinge of exasperation in it when she answered.
“We have over 300 guests at at this facility,” she said. “Does this ‘Jim’ have a last name?”
Two women were discussing marriage, and one said,
“We’ve been married twenty-five years, and every night my husband has complained about the food. Not one night without complaining about the food.”
The other woman said, “That’s awful. Doesn’t it bother you?”
The first one said, “Not in the slightest.”
Said the other woman, “You must be a saint!”
To which, the first woman replied, “No. Why should I object? Many people don’t like the food they cook.”