Lily
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st one said:
“Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?”
Then the second Snake says “Why do you ask?”
The 1st one replies: “I just bit my lip!”
There was a hysterical call at the fire department, and it went like this:
“Help me, please help me! There is a cat meowing and yowling with frequency and urgency. It is going to hurt me. Can you please help me and send the fire squad right away?”
“Take it easy! Cats don’t hurt us. Just relax and wait until it leaves.”
“You don’t understand it is going to bite me; it is going to be fatal!”
“Cats aren’t like snakes or spiders that are poisonous. By the way, who is calling?”
“I’m Josephine’s parrot, you idiot! Help me please, help!”
Two men were in a forest,
when a lion came roaring towards them.
One of them throws sand into the lion’s eyes and then runs.
The second man stays, unmoved.
The first man looks back and shouts, “Why are you not running?”
The second man replies, “Why should I be running? You’re the one who threw the sand.”
Two women realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
“Help, help!” yells one of the women.
“Help us, help us!” yells the other.
“Maybe it would help if we yell together,” said the first.
“Good idea,” said the other.
“TOGETHER, TOGETHER!”