Lily
A manager in a large company noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.
“What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
“John,” the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name! It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only — Smith, Jones, Baker –that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”
The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. My name is John Darling.”
“Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is…”
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing.
On the last day the departing manager tells him, “I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.”
Three months down the track there is major drama, everything goes wrong – the usual stuff – and the manager feels very threatened by it all.
He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says “Blame your predecessor!”
He does this and gets off the hook.
About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems.
The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize!”
This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.
Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope.
The message inside says “Prepare three envelopes…”
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, “What was that for?”
She says, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with ‘Betty Sue’ written on it’
He says, “Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? ‘Betty Sue’ was the name of the horse I went there to bet on.”
She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he’s reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, “What was that for?”
She answers, “Your horse called.”