Lily
Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife,
“He’s been crying the whole way home. Isn’t he sick or something?”
“No,” replies the wife, “he was just trying to tell you he isn’t our Frankie.”
A teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on.
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and pushing the boots, she just didn’t want to go on. By the time she’d got the second boot on, she’d worked up a sweat.
That’s when the little boy said, ‘Mrs. Smith, they’re on the wrong feet.’
She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn’t any easier getting them back off and re-put upon the correct feet. That’s when the little boy said, ‘These aren’t my boots. They’re my brother’s. My mom made me wear them.’
She bit her tongue and managed to keep her cool. But she mustered up the courage one more time to wrestle those boots on his feet again. ‘Now,’ she said, ‘Where are your mittens?’
‘I stuffed them in the toes of my boots.’
After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kind of strange so she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: “Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.”
Husband: “What’s up?”
Wife: “According to DNA test results, this is not our kid!”
Husband: “Well you don’t remember, do you? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had a dirty diaper. So you said, ’Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.’ So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.”
The wife fainted.