Lily
A man said to a railroad engineer:
“What’s the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?”
Railroad engineer: “How would we know they were late, if we didn’t have a schedule?”
A passenger train is creeping along slowly.
Finally, it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking outside.
‘What’s going on?’ she yells out of the window.
‘Cow on the track!’ replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walking outside. She leans out of the window and yells,
‘What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?’
The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”
“Not really,” she replied. “I’m nauseated from sitting backward on the train.”
“Poor dear,” he said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”
“I couldn’t,” she replied, “there was no one there.”
The son of a Saudi mogul goes to study in Europe.
One night, the phone rings at the house of his parents.
Dad: ‘How’s your life going, son?’
Son: ‘It’s going well, dad.’
Dad: ‘Is something wrong? You don’t sound happy.’
Son: ‘No Dad, everything’s fine. Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here.’
Dad: ‘Son, tell me the truth. I know something’s not right.’
Son: ‘Well dad, to be honest, I am a bit ashamed to drive to my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.’
Dad: ‘My dear son, why didn’t you say so earlier? I will send you more funds this instant. Please stop embarrassing us and go and get yourself a train too.’