Lily
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
“Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!”
My daughter hates school.
One weekend, she cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday.
Sunday morning on the way home from brunch, the crying and whining built to a crescendo.
At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, “Honey, it’s a law. If you don’t go to school, they’ll put daddy in jail.”
She looked at me, thought for a moment, then asked, “How long would you have to stay?”
One night there were three female fugitives escaping from jail.
One was blonde, one was brunette and the other was a redhead.
They had the police hot on their trail and, quickly thinking the brunette points out an old, abandoned factory perfect for hiding in.
When all three were inside the redhead, quickly thinking said they should all hide in old potato sacks in the corner as they could hear the police approaching the factory.
They all got in their little potato sacks and barely a minute later the police came crashing through the door.
They looked at the sacks and said: ‘Hmm maybe they are hiding in these.’
The officer kicks the red-head’s sack and she makes whimpering noises. ‘Hmm just puppies in that sack’
The officer kicks the brunette’s sack and she makes mewing noises. ‘Hmm just kittens in that sack’ He says.
He finally kicks the blonde’s sack and she screams: ‘POTATOES! POTATOES!’