Lily
Boss Need Respect!
The boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect.
The next day, he brought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: “Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”
A boss was educating an employee on effective sales technique.
“The main thing to remember is that repetition, repetition, repetition is the keynote!” he advised. “If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every possible way, cram it down people’s throats and beat them over the head with it! Above all, don’t ever forget to repeat and repeat and repeat! It’s the only way to get results!”
“Yes, sir!” the employee answered.
“And now, what was it you came in to see me about?” the boss asked.
The employee replied, “A Raise! A Raise! A Raise! A Raise! A Raise! A Raise! A Raise!”
Motivational speech
After hearing a speech on how to motivate employees, the business owner posted signs that read “Do It Now” in every department. It was impossible for the employees not to see them all through the day.
A friend dropped by a week later. Seeing the signs, he asked if the scheme really worked.
“Well,” said the business owner, “not exactly the way I thought it would. My accountant ran off with $250,000 and the rest of the employees asked for raises.”
Boss: Do you think you can come in on Saturday? I know you enjoy your weekends, but I need you here.
Employee: Yeah, no problem. I’ll probably be late though as public transport on weekends is slow.
Boss: What time will you get here?
Employee: Monday.