Lily
A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening.
They phone for a cab, turn on the night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the backyard. The taxi arrives and they open the front door to leave.
Suddenly, the cat they have put out scoots back into the house. They don’t want the cat shut in there because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes back in.
The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot pursuit. The wife doesn’t want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to him that her husband will be out soon. “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. “Sorry, it took so long,” he says, as they drive away. “Stupid hag was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger so she would come out. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But, it worked.”
This guy’s wife gets a cat and he hates it.
So one day, while his wife is gone to work, the guy puts the cat in the back seat of the car, drives a few blocks, and lets the cat out. When he gets home, the cat’s sitting there on the front porch.
So the next day, the guy waits until his wife leaves for work again, then throws the cat in the car, drives a mile away from the house, and tosses the cat out. When he gets home, the cat’s sitting there again on the front porch.
Well, the guy’s furious. So he waits until the next day, then throws the cat in the car, and drives as far and fast as he can, making all the turns and doubling back he can to throw off the cat. He dumps out the cat and heads home, but realizes he can’t figure out where he is.
So that afternoon, his wife comes home and answers the ringing phone. It’s her husband. He asks, “Is the cat there?”
She says, “Yes.”
The guy says, “I’m lost. Put the cat on the phone.”