Lily
Son: Mommy, why are all the cars beeping their horns?
Mother: Because there’s a wedding going on.
Son: But isn’t the horn a warning signal, Mommy?
Mother: Exactly, son.
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning.
The man strokes her back,
“I’m so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this…”
“Don’t worry Steve, it’s not your fault.”
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”
The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say: “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
A young man excitedly tells his mother that he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, “Ma, I’m going to bring over three women, and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women to the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, “Okay Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry?”
She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”
“That’s amazing, Ma! You’re right. How did you know?”
The mother replies, “I don’t like her.”