Bean
Two friends go skydiving. This is the first solo jump for both of them. The plane lifts off and the instructor gives them their last instructions:
“When the light above the door turns green, you can jump.”
The first guy (who is a major stutterer) asks: “W-W-w-will the p-p-p-parach-ch-ute open o-o-on its o-o-o-own?”
The instructor says: “No sir, you have to pull the chord yourself. Just jump out, count to ten, and then pull the chord.”
The light turns green and the second guy jumps first. After ten seconds he opens his parachute and lands safely in an open field next to a river.
After a few minutes, he hears a loud splash and he looks over to the river. The first guy comes up and says:
“N-n-ine.”
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A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan
A blonde woman goes to a bank in New York before going on vacation and asks for a loan of $5,000.
The banker asks, “Okay, Miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?”
The woman says, “Yes, of course. I’ll use my Rolls Royce.”
The banker, stunned, asks, “A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?”
The woman is absolutely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers mock her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it for two weeks in your underground car park.
When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.
The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?”
The woman replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
And you thought blondes were dumb! Well done! Hahaha!
Hope this funny story will make you smile! Have a nice day!!