Three Scots and three Irishmen are traveling by train to a conference.
At the station, the three Irishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket.
“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an Irishman.
“Watch and you’ll see,” answers a Scottish man.
They all board the train.
The Irishmen take their respective seats but all three Scots cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,”Ticket, please.”
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Irishmen see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the Irishmen decide to copy the Scots on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Scots don’t buy a ticket at all.
“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed Irishman.
“Watch and you’ll see,” answers a Scot.
When they board the train the three Irishmen cram into a bathroom and the three Scots cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Scots leaves his bathroom and walks over to the bathroom where the Irishmen are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”
Irish Bobby appeared on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” and towards the end of the program had already won $500,000.
“You’ve done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter, “but you’ve only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?”
“Sure,” said Bobby. “I’ll have a go!”
“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
“I haven’t got a clue,” said Bobby, ”so I’ll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Billy.”
Bobby called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
“Hell, Bobby!” cried Billy. “That’s simple. It’s a cuckoo.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
Bobby hung up the phone and told Chris, “I’ll go with cuckoo as my answer.”
“Is that your final answer?” asked Chris.
“That it is.”
There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer! Bobby, you’ve won $1 million!”
The next night, Bobby invited Billy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
“Tell me, Billy? How in Heaven’s name did you know it was Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest? You’re no bird expert!”