David received a parrot on his birthday.
The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. The one that wasn’t expletive was to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got angrier and ruder.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream, and then there was silence. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out and said, ‘I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavour at once to correct my behaviour. I am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.’
David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, ‘May I ask what did the chicken do?’
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.
They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother. ‘Well,’ said the first one, ‘I bought mom a huge house in Beverly Hills.’
‘I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her.’
‘I’ve beaten you both,’ said the third. ‘I bought her a miraculous parrot that can talk to her.’
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.
‘Gerald, the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, and I have to clean the entire house. Milton, the car is useless because I don’t go anywhere; I’m too old. But Robert, you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious.’