Doctor (to the patient):
“Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?”
Patient: “Yes, sir. But I did not drink it.”
Patient (pointing to the bottle): “Because it is written on the label: ‘Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'”
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast.
At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better.
The man said that he actually felt worse.
“Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked.
“No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Man: I cannot sleep at night, I keep seeing donkeys playing football.
Doctor: I am giving you some medicine, start using it tonight.
Man: Can I start tomorrow?
Doctor: Why tomorrow?
Man: Tonight is the finals.
A man went to the doctor and said that he hadn’t been feeling very well recently.
The doctor examined the man, and prescribed three kinds of pills.
The doctor said, “Take the green one with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue one with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before bed, take the red one with another big glass of water.
The man, astounded that he had to take so much medicine, stammered, “Jeez Doc, exactly what is my problem?”
The doctor replied, “You aren’t drinking enough water.”