I was sitting at a bar when a man walked in.
The bartender pointed at the seat next to me and said “Hey Jackass! Sit here.” The man sat down.
Then the bartender asked, “What do you want to drink, Jackass?” The man ordered a beer.
A little later, the bartender yelled, “Hey Jackass! You want a menu?” The man said “No.”
After a few more beers, the bartender said, “Hey Jackass! That will be $24.50.” The man paid and started to get up.
I stopped him and asked, “Why does he keep calling you Jackass?”
The man looked at me, smiled, and said, “ Oh… Hee Haw Hee Haw Hee Hallways calls me that.”
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.
She didn’t panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. “If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it.”
Sure enough, very quickly a snowplow arrived and she started to follow it.
She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally, the truck driver got out and asked her what she was doing.
She explained that her father told her to follow a plow in case she ever got stuck in a snowstorm.
The driver nodded and said, “Well, I’m done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?”