Bean
A mathematician, a philosopher, and a blonde all go to Hell and receive a challenge from the D..e.v..il – if they can stump him, they’re free to go to heaven instead.
The philosopher goes first and asks the D..e.v..il a very hard philosophy question – to which the D..e.v..il snaps his fingers, gets a book, and gives the answer.
The mathematician tries as well – but the D..e.v..il instantly gets the answer.
When it comes to the blonde, she pulls up a chair and drills three holes in it.
She then sits down in the chair and farts.
“Now,” she says, “which hole did the fart come out of?”
“That’s easy,” says the D..e.v..il lf. “All of them.”
“No, stupid! It came out of my hole!”
=========================
Teacher Told A Young Student God Doesn’t Exist
One day a 6-year-old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy:
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a minute later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there. He doesn’t exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yesssssssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssssssss.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No.
LITTLE GIRL: Then, according to what we were taught in the school today… she must not have one!!
This is one of the best comebacks I’ve ever seen. I may just use this one day. Enjoy.