Revenge of the Melon Farmer
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well but was bothered by local kids sneaking into his watermelon field at night and eating his watermelons.
After some thought, he had the clever idea that he would definitely scare children. He made up a sign and posted it in the field.
The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, “Wa.r.ning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.”
The kids ran off, made up their own sign, and posted it next to the farmers.
When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: “Now there are two!”
The Best Blonde Joke Ever
80,000 blondes gather in a football stadium for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” Convention.
The leader says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?”
A blonde pushes her way through the crowd and takes the stage.
The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?”
After 15 to 20 seconds she says, “Eighteen!”
Obviously, everyone is a bit disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start to clap: “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”
The leader says, “Now that we have made the effort to bring together 80,000 of you in one place, and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, uh, I guess we can give her another chance.”
So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?”
After almost 30 seconds, she finally said, “Ninety?”
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down, and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is discouraged – the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls start screaming, waving their hands and shouting, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance! ”
The leader, unsure of whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, “OK! OK! Just one more chance – what is 2 plus 2?”
The girl closes her eyes and after a whole minute finally says, “Four?”
Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet, and scream…
“Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”
Hope this joke will make you smile!