Bean
This is the true story of a poor dizzying blonde who flies in a two-seater plane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and di….es. She desperately calls a May Day.
“May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! My pilot had a heart attack and passed away and I don’t know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!”
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
“This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I have a lot of experience with this type of problem. Now take a deep breath. Everything will be alright! Now give me your height and position! ”
She says, “I’m 5’4 and I’m in the front seat.”
(pause)
“O.K.,” says the voice in the radio…….
“Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven……..”
======================
A blonde praying for stopping all blonde jokes
One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.
“My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish,” said God.
“Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy and am doing what I love. I lack for nothing. I feel content in all ways,” said the nun.
“There must be something you would have of me,” said God.
“Well, there is one thing,” she said.
“Just name it,” said God.
“It’s those blond jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blond jokes to stop.”
“Consider it done,” said God.
“Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you.”
“There is one thing. But it’s really small, and not worth your time,” said the nun.
“Name it. Please,” said God.
“It’s the M&M’s,” said the nun. “They’re so hard to peel.”