A young kid found an old lamp.
As always the lamp was rubbed and a genie appeared granting 3 wishes.
Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes!
Kid: I wish math didn’t exist.
Genie: DONE! You have no more wishes!
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
“I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total,” says the Genie.
The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.”
So, with a blink of the Genie’s eye “poof” the oceans were teeming with fish.
The Englishman was amazed, so he said, “I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity.”
Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye “poof” there was a huge wall around England.
The Irishman asks, “I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.”
The Genie explains, “Well, it’s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out.”
The Irishman says, “Please Fill it up with water.”
A couple had been married for 35 years, and the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays.
During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would grant them each one wish.
The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic wand and boom. The wife had the tickets in her hand.
Then it was the husband’s turn. He paused for a moment, then said boldly, “Well, I’d like to have a wife 30 years younger than I.”
The fairy godmother picked up her wand and boom. He was now 90.