Lily
Not long after his newborn son arrived into the world, a father ran frantically through the halls of the hospital looking for the obstetrician. When he found her, he was nearly out of breath.
“Doctor, there’s a problem: my child has red hair. He can’t possibly be mine!”
“There’s no way”
The doctor calmly replied, “Don’t be silly. Even though you and your wife both have black hair, your son could have inherited his hair from your ancestors.”
“There’s no way,” the father shot back. “Both of our families’ have had jet-black hair for generations.”
“Well,” said the doctor, a little impatient now, “tell me this: how often do you and your wife have s*x?”
The father was a little embarrassed by the question. “Oh, uh, I’ve been very busy with work and preparing for the baby this year. So… we make love about once or twice every few months.”
“There you have it,” the doctor replied through a few chuckles. “It’s rust!”
With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
“May we see the new baby?” one asked.
“Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.”
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”
“No, not yet,” said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, “May we see the baby now?”
“No, not yet,” replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?”
“WHEN HE CRIES!” she told them.
“Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?”