Lily
Little Johnny rushes inside, out of breath and shouts,
“Mother! Mother! Give me some money for the poor old man that’s shouting along the road!”
His mother replies, “What is he shouting?”
“Ice creams! Come get your ice cream…”
Sunday School Teacher:
“Now Little Johnny, I want you to memorize today’s motto, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Little Johnny: “Yes mam, but I know it already. My father says he has always used that as his motto in his business.”
Teacher: “Oh, how noble of him! And what is his business?”
Little Johnny: “He’s a boxer.”
So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was. ‘It’s a period,’ he replied.
‘I can see that,’ said the teacher, ‘but what is so exciting about a period?’
‘Darned if I know,’ chirped the little boy, ‘but this morning my sister was missing one, my mother fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the boy next door joined the Navy!’