Kevin gets a New Secretary.
A few days later, his wife learns of this new hire, and so he faces a volley of rapid, suspicious questions.
Emma (Kevin’s wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?”
Kevin: “I didn’t really notice that.”
Emma: “What color are her eyes?”
Kevin: “I didn’t have time to check.”
Emma: “What colors of nail polish does she use, metallic, gel, or neon?”
Kevin: “Not a clue in the world.”
Emma: “Does she have a local accent?”
Kevin: “I barely spoke to her, so don’t know.”
Emma: “How does she dress?”
Kevin: “Very quickly.”
Kevin’s funeral will be held on Tuesday.
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!
Husband Wants Divorce
A married couple is driving on a highway at a speed of 60mph, the wife behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks at her and says, “Honey, I know we’ve been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce.”
The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70mph.
Then he says, “I don’t want you to try to talk me out of it because I’ve been having an affair with your best friend, and she’s a better lover than you are.”
Again, the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.
“I want the house,” he says, pressing his luck.
Again, the wife speeds up to 80mph.
He says, “I want the car too”, but she just drives faster and faster. By now she’s up to 90mph.
“Alright,” he says, “I want the bank accounts and all the credit cards, too.”
The slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.
This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, “You don’t want anything?”
The wife says, “No, I’ve got everything I need.”
“Oh, really,” he says, “so what have you got?”
Right before they slam into the wall at 100mph, the wife smiles and says, “The airbag.”