Lily
A wife sent a SMS to her husband.
Wife: Hi Baby
Husband: Hi Darling (Sending Failed)
Wife: Are you there?
Husband: Yes, yes, darling, I am here. (Sending Failed)
Wife: Are you ignoring me or what?
Husband: Honey, I am not. I am trying to reply you! (Sending Failed)
Wife: Its over… don’t ever talk to me again.
Husband: Go to Hell! (Message Sent)
Flowery matter
“Take a bunch of flowers home for your wife, sir,” urged the street vendor.
“I haven’t got a wife,” replied the young man. “Then buy a bunch for your sweetheart.” “I don’t have a sweetheart, either.” “Well then, buy a couple of bunches to celebrate your luck.”
Do it yourself
A wife asked her husband to buy organic vegetables from the market. He went and looked around and couldn’t find any.
So he picked some and approached an old tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”
The produce guy looked at him and said, “No. You’ll have to do that yourself.”
Jim had an awful day fishing in the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.
On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, “Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?”
“Why do you want me to throw them at you?”
“Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.”
“Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange trout.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange trout. That’s what she’d like for dinner tonight.”