Feeling Like a Baby

Two old guys from a senior center were sipping lemonade or the porch when one asks the other:

“Ralph, I’m 92 years old and even my aches have pains.

You must be close to my age. How are you feeling?”

Ralph says, “Like a brand new baby.”

“No kidding! Like a brand new baby?”

“Yep. No teeth, no hair, and wet diapers.”

================

Funny joke: Old Biker and Hand Job

An old age biker, on a summer ride in the country, walks into a tavern and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $1000

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender serving drinks to a meager looking group of farmers.

“Yes?” she inquires with a knowing smile,

“Can I help you?”

“I was wondering,” whispers the old biker,

“Are you the young lady who gives the hand-jobs?”

…

…..

……

The old biker replies, “Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger.”