Bean
A man goes to a marriage counselor all by himself.
Confused, the marriage counselor says, “This is quite odd as usually, this works better when both partners attend therapy together. Since you already paid for this session I guess we’ll just have to pretend she is here and role play. I’ll be your wife.”
The man instantly stiffens up and looks very nervous.
“Honey, are you not happy in our marriage?”
“I can’t complain about that.”
“‘Is it the relations?’”
“I can’t complain about that either.”
“Well, is it the way I treat you?”
“Nope. Definitely can’t complain about that.”
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The Bear and His Freezer
A polar bear carries a large freezer into an ice factory.
On his way inside, he’s stopped by a penguin wearing a tie and a name tag and carrying a clipboard.
“Why are you bringing a freezer into an ice factory??” The penguin asked.
“I’m a new hire,” the polar bear replied, “I brought it with me because back home it freezes EVERYTHING. I thought it’d help me do my new job better.”
“Oh…Oh!” The penguin says, “I get it. I think there must be a misunderstanding. You brought it to ‘make’ the ice but it’s your job to ‘BREAK’ the ice.”
“Oh.” Said the Polar Bear. Then after a small pause, he says, “So, why did the polar bear carry a freezer into the ice factory?”