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The Bad Kung Fu Pupil

The Bad Kung Fu Pupil

A Kung Fu pupil asks his teacher, “Master, why does my ability not improve? I’m always defeated.”

And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: “My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?”

“Yes, my master, I have.”

“And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?”

“Yes, my master, I have witnessed it.”

“And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?”

“Yes, my master, I watch it every night.”

“That is the problem. You keep watching all this stuff instead of training.”

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The Remarkable Native American

Many years ago, two cowboys came upon a Native American lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.

One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, “You see that Indian?”

“Yeah,” says the other cowboy.

“Look,” says the first one, “he’s listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction.”

Just then the Native American looks up.

“Covered wagon,” he says, “about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon.”

“Incredible!” says the cowboy to his friend. “This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Remarkable!”

The Native looks up weakly and says, “Ran over me about a half-hour ago.”

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