Lily
A kid was a very good painter.
Once a neighbor broke her nails while trying to pick-up a $100 bill lying on the ground because it looked so real.
She called the kid’s father and complained about the kid.
The father said, “That’s nothing. My son drew a switch on the power socket yesterday and now I am in the hospital.”
A young boy walks into a barbershop and the barber whispers to his customer,
“He’s the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, calls the boy over, and asks him, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
“Hey, son! Can I ask you something? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill? ”
The boy replied:
“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A blonde gets a job painting lines on the highway.
At the end of the first day, her supervisor is impressed. “Wow!” he says. “You did eight miles today! That’s amazing!”
The second day, the blonde’s production is down to four miles. “Still pretty darn good,” the supervisor says.
On the third day, the blonde only does two miles. The supervisor calls her into the office.
“What’s going on?” he asks. “The first day you did great with eight miles, then yesterday you were down to four, and today you only managed two. What’s the problem?”
The blonde rolls her eyes and says “Duh! The paint bucket keeps getting farther away!”