A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a g…u….n and fi…r….es two s…h..o…ts in the air.
“Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
“I’m a panda,” he says, at the door. “Look it up.”
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
“Panda: Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots, and leaves.”
A teacher asked a student to give her sentence about a public servant
“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.
“Sure,” said the young student confidently. “Means carrying a child.”