Jasmine
A man walks into a bar with a box under his arm and says to the bartender, “If I can show something you’ve never seen before, will you give me a free drink?”
Now the bartender has seen almost everything in his time and says, “Sure, impress me and hell, I’ll give you a free tab for the eve!”
So the man puts down the box and opens it and then he pulls a small piano out of it and places it on the bar and then a little man as well.
The little man walks up to the piano and starts playing!
The bartender was blown away by this and agrees to the drinks and then asks, “Where did you find him?”
“Well,” says the man, “I found this magic lamp.”
Go back into the box and pulls out this old brass oil lamp.
“I rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted me one wish, then he told me to pass the lamp on to the next person that did me a kindness.”
“Wow,” the bartender said.
The man then said, “As you gave me a drink I’m going to let you have the lamp.”
“But be careful what you wish for though.”
So the bartender rubs the lamp and then makes his wish.
Next thing the bar has ducks everywhere!!!
Crapping on the bar and the floor and all over the customers!!!!!
The bartender yells at the man and says, “I wished for a Million Bucks! Not a million Ducks!”
To this, the man replies, “ And you think that I wished for a 12-inch Pianist?!”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
A Man and a Monkey Walk Into a Bar
A man and a monkey walk into a bar.
The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps on the bar and eats a very old olive that was there.
The bartender says, “Did you see what your monkey did? He ate that disgusting olive!”
The man says, “Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it.”
The man finishes his beer and he and the monkey leave.
A few days later the man and the monkey return to the bar. The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps on the pool table and swallows the white ball.
The bartender says, “Did you see what your monkey did? He swallowed the white ball!”
The man says, “Oh, he does stuff like that all the time. Just ignore it.”
The man finishes his beer and he and the monkey leave.
A week later, the man and the monkey return to the bar. The man sits down and orders a beer. The monkey jumps on the bar, takes a cherry, sticks it up to his b-u.t.t, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender says, “This is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen. Your monkey stuck that cherry up his b-u.t.t and ate it.”
The man says, “Yes, he measures everything first ever since the white ball incident.
LOL!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!