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A Magician and His Beloved Parrot.

A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship.

His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying “Big deal, the cards up his sleeve.” or “He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!”

One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot. For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas. Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician.

Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed “Okay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!”

David received a parrot on his birthday.

The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. The one that wasn’t expletive was to say the least, rude.

David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got angrier and ruder.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream, and then there was silence. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out and said, ‘I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavour at once to correct my behaviour. I am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.’

David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, ‘May I ask what did the chicken do?’

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