Bean
A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting.
When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and instructed on when to jump.” My hand is placed on my release ring, and I’m ready to go with the dog.”
“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked.
“I have a very keen sense of smell, and I can smell the trees and grass from 300 feet away,” he explained.
“But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked.
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He quickly answered: “Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.”
A teacher asked students to imagine a brick
The teacher was having a creative writing lesson in her English class.
She put a brick on her desk and asked the children to tell her what came into their minds when they saw the brick.
The first kid said, “I think about my dad. He is a construction worker”.
Another said, “I think about our new house”.
Then the teacher thought, “Why don’t I ask Johnny? After all, what can he say about a brick that would be improper?” So she asked, “Johnny, what do you think about when you see this brick”?
Johnny said, “Roasted chicken”!
The teacher was horrified, “But why, Johnny? Why? This is a brick”!
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Johnny said, “But that’s what I always think about”!