Jasmine
1.
Teacher: Ted, if your dad has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much does he have left?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don’t know maths.
Ted: You don’t know my father!
2.
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yeah, mom?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I’m going to Hong Kong tomorrow so I’m scolding you now.
3.
Father: Why didn’t you pass your math test?
Son: On Monday, the teacher said 3 + 5 = 8.
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8 and Wednesday she said 6 + 2 = 8. If she can’t make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
4.
A mother and son were doing the dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room.
Suddenly there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence.
The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It’s mommy!
Father: How do you know that?
Daughter: She didn’t say anything.
5.
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man: How is that possible?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born.
6.
Teacher: Simon, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
7.
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
“What did you get?” asked his dad.
“My marks are underwater,” said the boy.
“What do you mean ‘underwater’?”
“They are all below ‘C’ (sea) level.