An 80-year-old lady was being interviewed by a local news station

An 80-year-old lady was being interviewed by a local news station

An 80-year-old lady was being interviewed by a local news station because she had just gotten married for the fourth time.

The interviewer began to ask her questions about her life, why she has decided to get remarried at 80, and for some information about her new husband. “My husband is a funeral director”, she answered. “That’s interesting”, the reporter replied.

The reporter was then curious about her previous three husbands and what their professions had been. After a few minutes of reflection, the woman smiled and answered proudly.

She explained that in her 20’s she married a banker, in her 40’s a circus ringmaster, a preacher in her 60’s and now, in her 80’s, a funeral director.

The reporter was unsure how to process her answer and then asked why she married four men with such different lives and career choices.

The woman once again smiled and explained, “I married the first for the money, the second for the show, the third to prepare myself, and the fourth to go!”

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Typical Day at the Farm

Typical Day at the Farm

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.

“Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer.

“No, they went to town.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No, he went with Mom and Dad.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant!”.

The boy thought for a moment, then said, “You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $50 for the bulls and $15 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”