Two babies were sitting in their cribs, when one baby shouted to the other: “Are you a little girl or a little boy?”
“I don’t know,” replied the other baby giggling.
“What do you mean, you don’t know?” said the first baby.
“I mean I don’t know how to tell the difference,” was the reply.
“Well, I do,” said the first baby chuckling, “I’ll climb into your crib and find out.”
He carefully got himself into the other baby’s crib, then quickly disappeared in to the blankets. After a couple of minutes, he resurfaced with a big smile on his face. “You’re a little girl, and I’m a little boy,” he said proudly.
“You’re ever so clever,” said the baby girl, “but how can you tell?”
“It’s quite easy really,” replied the baby boy, “you’ve got pink socks and I’ve got blue ones.”
So a kid is going through his mother’s purse and takes out her driving license.
His mother catches him reading it and mildly scolds him. The kid says “but i learned so much about you from it!”
“Well, OK, what did you learn about me?”
“Well… I know your age now.”
“And what is that?”, says his mother.
“You’re old”, says the kid.
“And I learned your height.”
“You’re really tall.”
“Well, yes, I am tall for a woman.”
“And I learned your weight”, he says.
“And what is that?”, asks the mother.
“A lot for a woman your height.”
The mother sighs and says “Well, that’s not nice, but I can’t argue that.”
“And,” the kid says, “I know why dad divorced you.”
“Huh? What?! How on earth did you get that from a driver’s license?”