Irish Bobby appeared on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” and towards the end of the program had already won $500,000.
“You’ve done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter, “but you’ve only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?”
“Sure,” said Bobby. “I’ll have a go!”
“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
“I haven’t got a clue,” said Bobby, ”so I’ll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Billy.”
Bobby called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
“Hell, Bobby!” cried Billy. “That’s simple. It’s a cuckoo.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
Bobby hung up the phone and told Chris, “I’ll go with cuckoo as my answer.”
“Is that your final answer?” asked Chris.
“That it is.”
There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer! Bobby, you’ve won $1 million!”
The next night, Bobby invited Billy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
“Tell me, Billy? How in Heaven’s name did you know it was Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest? You’re no bird expert!”
“Well Bobby you idiot,” said Billy, “Because everyone knows he lives in a clock!”
A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, “Jesus is watching you.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard: “Jesus is watching you.”
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot.
“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.”
The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”
“Moses,” replied the bird.
“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird ‘Moses?’”