A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson.
He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, snacks, all sorts of things.
The grandad is saying in a controlled voice:“Easy, William, we won’t be long… easy boy.”
Another outburst and she hears the grandad calmly say “It’s okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”
At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the cart. Grandad says again in a controlled voice :“William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool William.”
Very impressed, she goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.
She says : “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandad.”
“Thanks,” says the grandpa. “But I am William. The little bugger’s name is Kevin!”
Irish Bobby appeared on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” and towards the end of the program had already won $500,000.
“You’ve done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter, “but you’ve only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?”
“Sure,” said Bobby. “I’ll have a go!”
“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
“I haven’t got a clue,” said Bobby, ”so I’ll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Billy.”
Bobby called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
“Hell, Bobby!” cried Billy. “That’s simple. It’s a cuckoo.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
Bobby hung up the phone and told Chris, “I’ll go with cuckoo as my answer.”
“Is that your final answer?” asked Chris.
“That it is.”
There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer! Bobby, you’ve won $1 million!”
The next night, Bobby invited Billy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
“Tell me, Billy? How in Heaven’s name did you know it was Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest? You’re no bird expert!”
“Well Bobby you idiot,” said Billy, “Because everyone knows he lives in a clock!”