During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well,” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I see,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”
“No.” The manager said, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”
A Texan Walks Into An Irish Pub
A Texan walks into an Irish pub and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers.
He says, “I hear you, the Irish are a bunch of hard d-r.i.n.k.e.r.s. I’ll give $500 US dollars to anyone here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”
The room is quiet and no one accepts the Texan’s offer. A man even leaves. Ten minutes later, the same man who left comes back and taps the Texan on the shoulder.
“Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately, the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons applaud as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman $500 and says, “If you don’t mind if I ask, where did you go for the 10 minutes that you were gone?”
The Irishman replies, “Oh … I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!